Putting the full twist into your UB dismount is a big big mistake. The routine is pretty good up until gearing for the dismount…now it obviously isn’t your forte, but leg form goes completely out the window here. Adding the full twist may up your D-score (a measly tenth), but will incur way more deductions than without it. In this case, the risk does not outweigh the reward.

Also, can we have less of the Incredible Hulk* poses during warmups, and more actual choreography on floor? That would be great!

*You so know you’re guilty of this!

Enjoy those Olympic gold medals, before the next Olympics rolls around you’ll already be replaced by yet another string of underagers. Could one of you move overseas and write a scathing tell-all? We’ll all understand if you have to wait until 2017 to do so…

I mean, aren’t the dominatrix leos and Al’s scary gloves enough to send anyone running? Talk about recycled music and choreography on floor…GAGE has everyone beat there!

Your floor routine is quite lovely, but I can’t help but notice the lack of expression you have on your face while performing it. We feel your pain knowing you were given recycled music and choreography, but couldn’t you at least try to make it your own just a little bit? You certainly are no Baraksanova nor Liukin, so please stop trying to pretend. Maybe you could learn a bitchface from them, but the expression you’re so lacking can only be found in the past years during your time at GAGE. Remember the feisty Ivana we all knew you as? The one who couldn’t hide her expressions to save her life?

Yeah, that Ivana…bring her back!

I know she’s new on the stage and all, but she’s been cut too much slack thus far. Are the same people going to be supportive of her next year, when she’s still not up to par? Yeah, yeah, say she peaked for JO Nationals all you want, but the truth of the matter is she was seen NOT sitting in oversplits like the other girls in her rotation at Nationals in Dallas were. She stood there and looked like a buffoon probably thinking to herself that maybe, just maybe, she should join in on the flexibility aspect just like everyone else was. Instead, she wasted a good 5 minutes looking around the place, all while going over her floor choreography with hand movements. Honestly, we’ve all seen her floor, and it does not need that much choreo prep, so I’m not sure who she was trying to fool (obviously not Martha, since Martha refused to even acknowledge the fact that Kayla even existed).

Kayla, I want to see you do well, but until you manage to work that flexibility like you said you did in that interview, I don’ want you putting one foot on the awards podium, save for US Nationals.

We at The Stroescu were appalled to come across these scandalous shots taken from the 2009 Visa Championships.

Before him, gymnastics was full of beautiful sprites,
Dancing gracefully across the beam and floor.
Bruno Grandi is nothing but a fright.

Gymnastics used to inspire and delight;
Now, thanks to Bruno, it’s just an eye sore.
His presence in gymnastics is a biblical blight.

When he took over, gymnastics became a terrible sight –
Full of Rombots, butt wiggles and Code whores.
Bruno Grandi is nothing but a fright!

Gymnastics is being strangled by a Code wound tight,
And Grandi is happy to sit back and ignore.
His presence in gymnastics is a biblical blight.

Our sport is too precious – we must fight
To bring its beauty back, even if it takes a war.
Bruno Grandi is nothing but a fright
His presence in gymnastics is a biblical blight.